Today is Mother’s Day. I could spend this post talking about how amazing it is to be a mother and how much it has changed my life, but I wont. Instead I’ll tell you all about my own amazing mother.
I have seen many different types of mothers in my life. There are moms who are judgmental, intrusive or indifferent. I have seen moms insert themselves in their adult children’s lives. They feel the need to involve themselves in their kid’s marriages and parenting decisions. On the other hand I have met mothers who could care less. They don’t spend time with their grandchildren and are never available should their kids need to talk. I feel lucky. My mom is none of those things.
Growing up I was a Daddy’s girl. His opinion was the one that mattered, his council was sought. I spent time hanging out with him and talking with him. It was never that my mom and I had a bad relationship growing up, it was just that I didn’t spend a lot of time with her.
Then I grew up. Its funny how things change. All the sudden it was her advice I sought and her respect I wanted. When I made a huge mistake I went to her not my Dad. I cried on her shoulder. I sought her council. That changed even more when I had my children. I finally understood what being a mother meant. I truly understood how you could love someone before you had even seen their face.
Now days I count my mom as one of my closest friends. She has this unique ability to be there without being intrusive. She does not ever attempt to assert herself into my marriage and only gives parenting advice when I ask for it. In fact there is some what of a “rule” between us. I do not complain about my husband to her….ever. That may seem extreme but it works. If I were to complain to my mom when Mike and I fight, she would take my side. I am her child and it would be in her nature to side with me. Plus, she would be getting a very skewed image of our relationship. I mean how many of us, when angry, paint a balanced portrait of a fight to the person we are complaining to? We tend to only tell our side. So my mom would only hear that one side. Eventually, Mike and I would make up (like we always do) I would forgive and move one. But it wouldn’t be so easy for her. She would have a more difficult time forgetting. So, I don’t complain. The end result….my mom loves my husband. She thinks he’s a great guy (because he is) and they have an amazing relationship. He calls her mom and loves her. There is no strained “in-law” relationship with her.
I share all this because I am just now realizing how amazing this balance is. She is truly wonderful woman. She some how manages to be my mom and my friend without being in any way overbearing. She is always there when I need her, she’s a constant in my life. So I just want to say how much I love her.